Devdas and Saawariya- Stories of Unrequited Love

Recently, I happened to come across two of the most beautiful love stories in history of Indian cinema- Devdas(2002) and Saawariya(2007). And decided to analyse the fine thread of unrequited love that runs common in both these films. Both made by the brilliant Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Devdas is the story of the quintessential lover who pines for his love and takes to drinking alcohol to ease his pain. Saawariya is the story of a young boy in love whose first love remains unrequited.

Both stories are about men who lose their love to either factors- situation or person. Devdas has been defined in history as the epitome of love. The film is based on the Sharat Chandra Chattopadhyay novella Devdas. This is the third Bollywood (Hindi) version and the first colour film version of the story in Hindi. Dev is a boy who belongs to the zamindar family in Calcutta in the pre-independence era. He was sent to London to study during that time. His father was a lawyer who decided to discipline his son by keeping him away from his pampering mother and a wasteful life, full of luxuries and indulgences. After he returns to his home after finishing his studies he gets reunited with his childhood love, Paro, who belongs to a lower caste and a poor family. Due to unfortunate circumstances she is married off to another man, much older and richer. Dev cannot take the pain of losing Paro and turns to Chandramukhi, the courtesan and to drinking. It is the situation of Bengal in 1900s where the zamindars ruled villages. In such a set up Dev from rich Brahmin zamindar family and Paro from middle-class Vaishnav (merchant) family cannot find social acceptance of their love. Time and place do not allow such liberties in love for Devdas. It is a social drama which ends in tragedy within the prevailing societal customs, which are largely responsible for preventing the attainment of love.

In Saawariya, the young boy who is the main character of the film, epitomizes love. It is a romantic drama based on the famous short story “White Nights” by the exceedingly acclaimed Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky. “White Nights” is a beautiful and a poignant story that encompasses the ideas of love, dreams, loneliness, expectations, desires and memories.Raj is the true loverboy after one's own heart. His character is a tribute to every simpleton lover boy Raj Kapoor ever played in Hindi cinema. Raj who is 'saawariya' loses his love to another older man, who is the girl's first love, and for whom she was waiting when she met him.

The beauty of Saawariya lies in its abstractness. The character of the protagonist called lovingly 'saawariya' or lover boy, is open to interpretation. He is first introduced by the narrator, Rani Mukherjee, who plays a prostitute in the movie. He is the boy of her dreams, her imagination creates him and brings him to life. Or is he the innocent boy who comes to her life bringing with him his story of love. Is he real or is he a figment of her imagination? Is it the story of that prostitute's unrequited love that she laments through this narration? Is Raj's wait for love, her own wait to find love. Woven intricately within her narrative is 'saawariya'/Raj's own love story. He falls in love with a Muslim girl, Sakeena, who is waiting for her lover to return. This love blooms from friendship and blossoms into love. Unfortunately, Sakeena's love for Raj is platonic and more for a friend, than a lover. Love in Saawariya is unrequited and one-sided. The prostitute's love for Raj, Raj's love for Sakeena and Sakeena's wait for her lover. Only Sakeena gets her love, when the man of her dreams returns to her but not without a long and uncertain wait. The entire movie is set in the shades of blue. The mood for love is sad and blue, not vibrant, romantic red. It is love in pining, loneliness, suffering and sacrifice that is best portrayed in this movie.

It is unrequited love that binds both the films, Devdas and Saawariya together. Love is not always about possessing, binding or conditionally gaining. Time, place or spaces are unimportant when it comes to Saawariya because events in love hold more importance. In Devdas, it is historical time, place and cultural spaces that lead to certain unfortunate events and misunderstandings that lead to loss of love. Both films are unique and heart-felt examples of love in Indian cinema.

Friend, Boyfriend or 'Fuck'-buddy??

My group of friends consist of school friends from class 2nd onwards. The group mainly consists of guys who despite what everyone says are the most adorable friends in the world. Some could call our circle of friends dysfunctional set of morons, but only because they are not a part of it. We have shared the most wonderful times of our lives together and have shred tears of break-up with Old Monk. Like any guy of this age, they are commitment phobic and can take the concept of love to a new level with their innovative techniques of evading engagement. Clearly they are not perfect and have issues they have been trying to work on.

But having them as my friends, I have always depended on them when in crisis. But what bonds our relationship? Is love for a friend different from a love for a boyfriend. If so, then which one to choose? Can they co-exist in harmony balancing both relationships? Or can one person hold the key to both these forms of love? How does one decide- Friend or Boyfriend?

At what point does friendship give way to 'more' than just friends? Recently, I came across a very revolutionary and disturbing term called 'friends with benefits', not so politely referred to as 'fuck-buddies'. It is an urban dictionary term that can be defined as they are 'friends' (but) who have sex. Sexual benefits comes without responsibilities under this tag. No commitment, no questions, only gratification at its best. This works best in situations where one cannot afford to have a 'serious' relationship. The reason for which could be varied, one just had a bad break-up, his/her career does not allow time and space for such a responsibility or just for fun. The rules for such a relationship is that it has no rules. One can have a 'fuck-buddy', yet date another person of the opposite sex. One can hang-out as buddies, talk, share jokes, travel, eat, drink and added to that sleep with each other. Without any commitments, expectations or future plans.It is a term used for sexual partners who regularly engage in sexual activites with each other, but do not share the usual emotional attachment of a standard boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (or boyfriend/boyfriend, or girlfriend/girlfriend, etc. etc.). Often used to describe two people who use each other solely for sexual gratification and nothing else. Usually this is a sexual relationship that still allows for each partner to seek sexual and emotional relationships with other people (hence, no attachments) but can rely on each other for a quickie or booty call. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck%20buddies)

Apparently according to this website there are 'buy fuck buddy magnets, t-shirts and mugs', which are a popular option for many such people. There is also a site that 'advices' how to be 'fuck buddies without complications'. The advantages listed for such a relationship, if at all it can be termed as one, is that it avoids the formalities like buying gifts on Valentine's Day, wishing on birthdays or going on formal dates or the pressure of meeting parents or formalizing into, god forbid..... marriage!!

(http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/fuckbuddies)

In such a tumultuous scenario, how does one define a relationship. The need to define a relationship is necessary because as human beings we have the freedom of choice. We cannot choose our family, but we can choose our acquaintances and paramours. Every choice comes with a responsibility, trust comes with faith that one friend will not tell his/her secrets to other. It is ones responsibility to maintain that trust. Every definition has a set of expectations, if someone is my friend, I shall not break his trust, if he is in trouble I will help him, if he is calling up at wee hours, I will be there for him, in return I will expect the same amount of reliability on him as my friend. Hence it becomes imperative to set boundaries for a relationship for it to exist and sustain.

Sexual relations with a mate/partner/companion is an acceptable norm for evolution. The traditional assumption of sex is to continue a lineage long after we are gone. It is mankind's attempt to challenge death through procreation. As humans we can have sex just for pleasure. To what extent do we use or misuse this right is upon us. Using a relation like friendship for sexual benefits is defiling it and making it a commodity for selfish recreation. It is like using a tissue paper, you keep it in your hand till you need it, then wipe it, crumple it and discard it. As long as they have a purpose to fulfill they are friends, but after a certain period of time one meets someone new or simply decides to move on, he/she is abandoned, without any rights, without shouldering the responsibility of his/her hurt caused by ones own selfishness.

For me my friends, irrespective of their gender, IQ, colour, sexual orientation and other factors are more than tissue papers. They are my balance sheets. They keep a track of my life with my ups and downs and make my troubles their own. They support me, love me and need be, fight for me. They are the pillars on which we can depend for life. For me, personally, if ever I have sex with a friend, it will be for reasons other than selfish carnal needs. Sex takes a relationship to a new and different level. Sharing secrets make friends come closer, when in primary school the person who knows your deepest secrets become your best friends, that same thought works here, the friend who shares your deepest desires becomes more special. He is to be cherished loved and to be given a dignified place in life. Friends are not for use, buddies are special, they are for life, if you know how to keep them.

Rajasthan

I love to travel. Recently, I went to one of the most beautiful places in India- Rajasthan. My dream to see the sun setting among the sand dunes in Jaisalmer finally came true. People travel for two reasons- to gather information or to gather experiences. My purpose of travelling is to find those nitty-gritty details that make the place a thriving city. My personal experiences are what makes a trip worthwhile for me.

In my trip to Rajasthan the most remarkable experience for me was the walk in the Jaisalmer City. The Jaisalmer fort city is the only fort city in the world where people are actually living even today. The main fort has been renovated into a museum, but outside that there are those tiny gullies that snake their way into people's home cum shops. Time seems to stand still as we explore the city on foot. It seems that we have travelled through time, as we stand watching the people who live there, walk about in their daily routine ignoring our presence. We were clearly the outsiders who were the denim clad, goggles wearing, camera clicking tourists, who did not belong there. As we walk in the tiny by lanes of the 3km spread city, we see the beautiful yellow limestones carved into intricate designs everywhere. It seems that the stone was no challenge to them, it has been carved with the detail and finery and ease of cutting wood. Every woman is dressed in the most colourful attires imaginable. Fiery red combined with bottle green, magenta pink with electric blue, hues of yellow with every shade imaginable of orange and maroon are displayed in the background of the pale golden yellow limestone city walls. The city streets thrive with rhythm of life as women continue their daily chores and children continue being children as they run around everywhere. Spotting a camel resting around the corner is just another common site in the city.

The city thrives mainly on tourism. Perhaps that could be one reason for it to struggle to remain as it was in order to attract the tourists to the mysterious orient, the colourful India. The roads are flooded with foreigners from all over the world eager to be enchanted by the colourful and incredible India, where people still travel on elephants and camels. Where cows are animals of worship not meat with high protein value. Where the cow dung from the same cows on the streets beside a sweet shop selling freshly fried samosas is not considered unhygienic but simply ignored as a common phenomenon. Where women are dressed in bright, colourful skirts and wear silver jewellery all the time. In such a scenario, when the awestruck 'firangs' spot Indians like us who dress pretty much like themselves and have the same Canon camera and can speak English with same fluency, it leaves them totally confused and shocked. It is a cultural shock for them to see people of the same nation with such diversity co-exist in the same timeline.

For girls, the things to shop for there would be the beautiful anklets available at the fort entrance. The heaviest pair that I bought was for rs.100 only. The lighter ones made of beads are priced around rs.40 or less. But the bottom line is, it all depends on your bargaining skills. Another thing you could try out is the spicy, tangy, delicious mirchi vada. Mirchi vada is a hollow green chilly covered with spicy potato paste, dipped in besan and deep fried. The best ones are found in Jodhpur, but the ones we had in Jaisalmer were not bad either.

Another breath taking experience that was my dream since a very long time was to see the setting sun in the sand dunes. Jaisalmer sand dunes are a spectacular sight in the setting sun. Each ray of light plays with the shadows cast on the sand dunes. With the sun touching the horizon the sand dunes seem to follow the sun. The sun goes down into the horizon like an orange ball of fire merging into the yellow sand. This mesmerizing play of colours brings alive the whole desert with light and waves of sand. What followed for us after the sunset was rolling in the cooling sand and taking pictures of every second of the sunset.

Rajasthan is a photographer's delight. It is a paradise to be explored with a camera and a fine lens. The lens of the camera or the lens of the eye, the hues, colours and dimensions of this place is a treat to relish and preserve forever.

Just About Anything and Everything

There is so much to say, where to start. I have lived a quarter of my life with an unconventional name, let's start from there. My name is a mixture of many aspirations. The meaning of my name is 'description' or to 'describe'. The Sanskrit word for which is 'varnan'. But my Bong family aspired to add a touch of ethnic authenticity and hence emerged the distorted version 'barnana' or as pronounced 'bornona'. It took me a good 7 yrs. of my life to get the pronunciation correct, so I do not blame anyone I meet who is left tongue twisted with it. My uncle aspired me to become a unique blend of description of the world but apparently forgot that it's easier to call someone with a sweet and simple name rather than a heavy, tongue twisting name. His logic was that if I have a name with 'B' I will be called among the first in the interviews and class attendances.

Another friend of mine recently observed that one's name has a huge effect on one's life and profession. Kanika observed "your name has the letter 'varn' in it and you are into linguistics that is the study of language". She believes that every person's name has an influence on his/her future, career and life. Like in my instance my name has 'varn' in it, which in Sanskrit means 'alphabet' and I have done my Phd. in Linguistics. Her name has 'kanak' in it and she is a jewellery designer. My little cousin 'Kushagro' is 10yrs. old and like his name is very sharp and intelligent, still have to wait to know how he turns out. Or my younger uncle 'Debashis' who is actually a blessing for his family as the Doctor who attempts to cure everyone. Though I won't push it too further to generalize this, as there are people with names like 'Mayawati' who have anything but empathy and humility, instead flaunt garlands of 1000rs. notes around their necks.

But in my case Kanika was bang on correct. I have done my Phd. in Linguistics, by choice or by chance not sure. I went to Korea as an exchange student and 'happened' to find a teaching job there on a student's visa and decided to make the most of it by joining the doctoral degree course. So I was teaching as I was working. Why linguistics? In my masters we were the first batch of students in Delhi Univ. with the new experimenting course work. In the new regime we were introduced to the study of linguistics and our batch collectively was hugely influenced by this one linguistics prof. who left a remarkable impression on our then impressionable minds. Thus I was hooked on to his classes and later on decided to pursue this one subject as I was freshly out of my master's course at that time. And the rest as they say is history. After graduating as the youngest Ph.d student in my university, I decided to return to India. I had couple of job offers there, but I preferred to test the waters here. I know that is ironic as people usually do the reverse.

So, what's in store for me? We will gradually find out as the story continues with its usual dose of hiccups and twists and turns. Stay put.