Devdas and Saawariya- Stories of Unrequited Love

Recently, I happened to come across two of the most beautiful love stories in history of Indian cinema- Devdas(2002) and Saawariya(2007). And decided to analyse the fine thread of unrequited love that runs common in both these films. Both made by the brilliant Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Devdas is the story of the quintessential lover who pines for his love and takes to drinking alcohol to ease his pain. Saawariya is the story of a young boy in love whose first love remains unrequited.

Both stories are about men who lose their love to either factors- situation or person. Devdas has been defined in history as the epitome of love. The film is based on the Sharat Chandra Chattopadhyay novella Devdas. This is the third Bollywood (Hindi) version and the first colour film version of the story in Hindi. Dev is a boy who belongs to the zamindar family in Calcutta in the pre-independence era. He was sent to London to study during that time. His father was a lawyer who decided to discipline his son by keeping him away from his pampering mother and a wasteful life, full of luxuries and indulgences. After he returns to his home after finishing his studies he gets reunited with his childhood love, Paro, who belongs to a lower caste and a poor family. Due to unfortunate circumstances she is married off to another man, much older and richer. Dev cannot take the pain of losing Paro and turns to Chandramukhi, the courtesan and to drinking. It is the situation of Bengal in 1900s where the zamindars ruled villages. In such a set up Dev from rich Brahmin zamindar family and Paro from middle-class Vaishnav (merchant) family cannot find social acceptance of their love. Time and place do not allow such liberties in love for Devdas. It is a social drama which ends in tragedy within the prevailing societal customs, which are largely responsible for preventing the attainment of love.

In Saawariya, the young boy who is the main character of the film, epitomizes love. It is a romantic drama based on the famous short story “White Nights” by the exceedingly acclaimed Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky. “White Nights” is a beautiful and a poignant story that encompasses the ideas of love, dreams, loneliness, expectations, desires and memories.Raj is the true loverboy after one's own heart. His character is a tribute to every simpleton lover boy Raj Kapoor ever played in Hindi cinema. Raj who is 'saawariya' loses his love to another older man, who is the girl's first love, and for whom she was waiting when she met him.

The beauty of Saawariya lies in its abstractness. The character of the protagonist called lovingly 'saawariya' or lover boy, is open to interpretation. He is first introduced by the narrator, Rani Mukherjee, who plays a prostitute in the movie. He is the boy of her dreams, her imagination creates him and brings him to life. Or is he the innocent boy who comes to her life bringing with him his story of love. Is he real or is he a figment of her imagination? Is it the story of that prostitute's unrequited love that she laments through this narration? Is Raj's wait for love, her own wait to find love. Woven intricately within her narrative is 'saawariya'/Raj's own love story. He falls in love with a Muslim girl, Sakeena, who is waiting for her lover to return. This love blooms from friendship and blossoms into love. Unfortunately, Sakeena's love for Raj is platonic and more for a friend, than a lover. Love in Saawariya is unrequited and one-sided. The prostitute's love for Raj, Raj's love for Sakeena and Sakeena's wait for her lover. Only Sakeena gets her love, when the man of her dreams returns to her but not without a long and uncertain wait. The entire movie is set in the shades of blue. The mood for love is sad and blue, not vibrant, romantic red. It is love in pining, loneliness, suffering and sacrifice that is best portrayed in this movie.

It is unrequited love that binds both the films, Devdas and Saawariya together. Love is not always about possessing, binding or conditionally gaining. Time, place or spaces are unimportant when it comes to Saawariya because events in love hold more importance. In Devdas, it is historical time, place and cultural spaces that lead to certain unfortunate events and misunderstandings that lead to loss of love. Both films are unique and heart-felt examples of love in Indian cinema.

Friend, Boyfriend or 'Fuck'-buddy??

My group of friends consist of school friends from class 2nd onwards. The group mainly consists of guys who despite what everyone says are the most adorable friends in the world. Some could call our circle of friends dysfunctional set of morons, but only because they are not a part of it. We have shared the most wonderful times of our lives together and have shred tears of break-up with Old Monk. Like any guy of this age, they are commitment phobic and can take the concept of love to a new level with their innovative techniques of evading engagement. Clearly they are not perfect and have issues they have been trying to work on.

But having them as my friends, I have always depended on them when in crisis. But what bonds our relationship? Is love for a friend different from a love for a boyfriend. If so, then which one to choose? Can they co-exist in harmony balancing both relationships? Or can one person hold the key to both these forms of love? How does one decide- Friend or Boyfriend?

At what point does friendship give way to 'more' than just friends? Recently, I came across a very revolutionary and disturbing term called 'friends with benefits', not so politely referred to as 'fuck-buddies'. It is an urban dictionary term that can be defined as they are 'friends' (but) who have sex. Sexual benefits comes without responsibilities under this tag. No commitment, no questions, only gratification at its best. This works best in situations where one cannot afford to have a 'serious' relationship. The reason for which could be varied, one just had a bad break-up, his/her career does not allow time and space for such a responsibility or just for fun. The rules for such a relationship is that it has no rules. One can have a 'fuck-buddy', yet date another person of the opposite sex. One can hang-out as buddies, talk, share jokes, travel, eat, drink and added to that sleep with each other. Without any commitments, expectations or future plans.It is a term used for sexual partners who regularly engage in sexual activites with each other, but do not share the usual emotional attachment of a standard boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (or boyfriend/boyfriend, or girlfriend/girlfriend, etc. etc.). Often used to describe two people who use each other solely for sexual gratification and nothing else. Usually this is a sexual relationship that still allows for each partner to seek sexual and emotional relationships with other people (hence, no attachments) but can rely on each other for a quickie or booty call. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck%20buddies)

Apparently according to this website there are 'buy fuck buddy magnets, t-shirts and mugs', which are a popular option for many such people. There is also a site that 'advices' how to be 'fuck buddies without complications'. The advantages listed for such a relationship, if at all it can be termed as one, is that it avoids the formalities like buying gifts on Valentine's Day, wishing on birthdays or going on formal dates or the pressure of meeting parents or formalizing into, god forbid..... marriage!!

(http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/fuckbuddies)

In such a tumultuous scenario, how does one define a relationship. The need to define a relationship is necessary because as human beings we have the freedom of choice. We cannot choose our family, but we can choose our acquaintances and paramours. Every choice comes with a responsibility, trust comes with faith that one friend will not tell his/her secrets to other. It is ones responsibility to maintain that trust. Every definition has a set of expectations, if someone is my friend, I shall not break his trust, if he is in trouble I will help him, if he is calling up at wee hours, I will be there for him, in return I will expect the same amount of reliability on him as my friend. Hence it becomes imperative to set boundaries for a relationship for it to exist and sustain.

Sexual relations with a mate/partner/companion is an acceptable norm for evolution. The traditional assumption of sex is to continue a lineage long after we are gone. It is mankind's attempt to challenge death through procreation. As humans we can have sex just for pleasure. To what extent do we use or misuse this right is upon us. Using a relation like friendship for sexual benefits is defiling it and making it a commodity for selfish recreation. It is like using a tissue paper, you keep it in your hand till you need it, then wipe it, crumple it and discard it. As long as they have a purpose to fulfill they are friends, but after a certain period of time one meets someone new or simply decides to move on, he/she is abandoned, without any rights, without shouldering the responsibility of his/her hurt caused by ones own selfishness.

For me my friends, irrespective of their gender, IQ, colour, sexual orientation and other factors are more than tissue papers. They are my balance sheets. They keep a track of my life with my ups and downs and make my troubles their own. They support me, love me and need be, fight for me. They are the pillars on which we can depend for life. For me, personally, if ever I have sex with a friend, it will be for reasons other than selfish carnal needs. Sex takes a relationship to a new and different level. Sharing secrets make friends come closer, when in primary school the person who knows your deepest secrets become your best friends, that same thought works here, the friend who shares your deepest desires becomes more special. He is to be cherished loved and to be given a dignified place in life. Friends are not for use, buddies are special, they are for life, if you know how to keep them.